It's Alive! Alive! IT'S ALIVE!

February 10, 2018

I realize that this site has pretty much become dead. There was no announcement of its pulse slowly beating until it quieted to nothing, no morning of the loss, and indeed no funeral.


The good thing about things that die unnoticed is that sometimes miracles can happen: they can come back to life unnoticed, slipping back into consciousness and finding a way into everyday life.


I’m here to bring this baby BACK.


What have I been up to? Why has this slowly come to a halt?


Firstly, and most importantly, if you haven’t noticed, I do not make what I post here 100% on my own. While I claim the writing to be my own, there are others that bring it to life. If those who draw that of my mind, making thought and words spring to colorful vitality are busy... well, then things don’t get done.


Secondly, those people certainly cannot sit around waiting for me to write things and then spring to action the second I’m done creating so that they too can create. They have lives, jobs, partners, side projects of their own and need money for what they do here. 


I’ve funded this entire project from day one on my own dime, and continue to do so in just keeping this site up, in hopes that one of you dear readers may come back to check out the backlog one day. In hopes that if, and when, we spring genuinely back to life and are creating on a weekly basis again that you’ll come back, tell friends who may also enjoy what we are trying to do here.


Funds run low when you live paycheck to paycheck. My girlfriend needed a new car, my rent went up, Christmas came around, everyday expenses seemed to rise, my school loans, car insurance, phone payments, etc. I’m not sure what happened, for my frivolities did not increase, but I was finding myself struggling.


This is my passion, but not my full-time job. I’ve worked a few different jobs, but these days I’m working at a little HVAC company. When we are busy, we are BUSY. When we are slow, it’s still a typical work week.


With the weather comes the influx of work - and yes money too - but really, that just means its time for me to play catch up with bills.


I had no energy to put into this site for blogs, reviews, or really anything. I wasn’t consuming media. All my spare time was going towards writing that had nothing to do with this site. I have a full-length novel I’m working on, and every weekend, spare moment at night, I’ve been putting time into that. I’ve been working on it for a full year as of about two weeks ago. I’m happy to say that I am 50% done or 50% towards my goal. It could run longer; I’m not sure.
But, then comes the joy of re-writing and editing, and re-writing, and then letting people read it, and re-writing again. I imagine I’ll be at it for at least another year, if not two, perhaps only to find out that it is un-publishable. That it will go into a hidden folder or desk drawer and I will start on another.


So, what about the site itself?


Well, a full-length Dag comic book HAS been written. I’ve written two full issues, started to outline a third. This is not new news. What is new is I did find an artist to pencil it, but he is extremely, extremely busy. I will not see any roughs on it for another few months, or I inferred to be the case from my last conversation.


This is not disheartening for me. It’s exciting. I know it is moving forward, even if it is at a snails-crawl. I have to keep moving, no matter how slow, if I ever want this site to go anywhere. If this site is destined to die once more, only next time not to be revived, well, maybe that’s the case. Perhaps I am not reaching the right audience or any audience; maybe the stuff I’m posting is just not good enough.


So be it.


Either way, I must move forward, trying and continuing to post. Because then my chances of one day getting something published, or having an audience, increase.
If none of this is ever monetized, that’s fine too. That isn’t the goal. I discussed this years ago with my buddy I’ve been using as an artist for this site. Eventually, if this site lives, all I want is for it to support itself.


That may be too small of a picture for me to dream. Shoot for the stars, and maybe I’ll get to fly a bit?


Who knows if what we are doing is correct, or wrong, or just somewhere in between: All I know is I enjoy this. And if you’re reading this, thank you.


I’ll be back with more to show for it; I know that. Just... keep showing up, those of you that do, because I’ll post things, no matter how slowly, up until the very last day all of you leave.

 

--f.h.

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